“You Don’t Own a TV?!!” (From TV-free to “Bachelorette" Addict)

“You don’t own a TV?”
“No, I haven’t had one for over twenty years.”
Incredulous silence.

It is by conscious choice I don’t own a TV. Tom Hopkins, real estate trainer extraordinaire, “sold” me on the idea at a seminar in the 1980s. He made a visceral point about “Garbage in, garbage out.” What we put into our minds and hearts is vitally important, not only in sales, where enthusiasm and a positive attitude are essential, but also in our lives. He accomplished this by manipulating our emotions. First, he presented a colorful multimedia slide show featuring beautiful nature scenes accompanied by uplifting music which elevated us into a state of joy and euphoric contentment. Then he held up a small cassette player blaring a “newscast” report about a stepfather beating his little boy for calling him “daddy” while excitedly reporting a success at school. “Don't call me daddy. I’m not your daddy,” he declared. Tom slammed the cassette player down on the stage floor, smashing it into pieces. Horrified, the room of 500 Realtors fell silent. We crashed emotionally. Then he asked us how those two experiences made us feel. In the discussion that followed, Tom asked us if we really wanted to start each day and go to bed each night with daily doses of negativity – murder, mayhem, car wrecks, arson, natural disasters. I did not.

As a metaphysical thinker, I believe I will know whatever I need to know whenever I need to know it, so it has proved to be true for me. Information I need comes to me in different ways – through people, magazines, overheard conversations at the right place, right time. There is no limit to the number of ways by which information can reach me. I read a national news magazine once a week to stay current on world events. I am quiet and contemplative by nature, so the peaceful solitude of a TV-free home has balanced my people-oriented careers. I don’t need the companionship of noise or distraction. I read.

My first alarming interaction with the hypnotic, mesmerizing power of TV occurred in 1975 when my son was a few months old. Placed on the living room floor in his Infaseat while I worked in the kitchen, he changed from gurgling baby actively playing with his hands and feet into a motionless zombie within moments of my turning the TV on. I was shocked. What was that about??

Now I am ready to own a TV again. What heralded this great transformation? Friends. Connection. Cultural context. It started with three dear friends addicted to “DWTS” (“Dancing with the Stars,” for the uninitiated) who wanted to interact with me about the show. I was clueless. Like crack dealers on ghetto corners, each one offered a free “hit” to get me started. “Come over for dinner, and we’ll watch it together.” Then I got involved with the performers, their lives, their stories, their challenges, their growth and sharing the experience with friends. Connection. Cultural context. It spread. Soon I was sampling "Ecstasy," "PCP," " 'Ludes," "H," hopelessly hooked on "The Bachelorette," "Bones," "Castle." Then there was Oprah's 25th and final season....you get the picture.

During my six-month migration from Santa Barbara to Albuquerque, I’ve had four different addresses, living with friends along the way. Each friend introduced me to a new substance of choice: “NCIS,” the Food Channel’s “Top/Master/Iron Chefs,” “PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre.” I have always managed to participate in world events through TV: Princess Diana’s wedding, then her funeral, Obama’s election and inauguration, the Japanese earthquake and tsunami, Osama bin Laden’s assassination. This connects me into the grid as a world citizen. I’m ready now, when I buy a home in New Mexico, to own a TV again. I’m aware of its impacts and willing to be responsible for its gifts and detractions.

Blurbs from the Burque

• Last week, the Alibi, (for what, I don’t know yet), the Burque’s free, weekly, local Arts & Entertainment newspaper, featured “Survival Guide 2011: ABQ Danger Map” for living here.

"Albuquerque is a tough little piñon. Mastering Albuquerque takes street
smarts. If you want to thrive, first you have to survive."

A two-page map was ever-so-helpfully coded to show the neighborhoods with the highest number of registered sex offenders, most arsenic in the drinking water, greatest concentration of dangerous dogs, most homicides, property crimes, violent crimes, worst intersections, bicycle deaths, red light cameras. Superfund sites are marked in red. There is an icon for “Corporate Coffee”(see next entry).

• Corporate Coffee: “Beware the coffee! This is the very McDonald’s where, in 1992, Stella Liebeck ordered a 49-cent cup of joe and then spilled it on her lap, resulting in burns, a successful $2.8 million lawsuit and a flood of hacky jokes from every two-bit comic in the country. Although most people have heard of the case, many don’t realize that the coffee was so hot (180 -190 degrees) that Liebeck suffered third-degree burns requiring a skin graft, or that McDonald’s had refused to grant Liebeck’s initial request for just enough money to cover her medical expenses. Regardless of your take on the lawsuit, we recommend that if you buy coffee anywhere, you avoid holding the cup between your legs while driving.”