This is a continuation of last week’s posting, my response to an email question received from someone who has known me for more than 50 years asking me the question I’m asked most frequently: “How could, or why would, you move to New Mexico?” Here’s how she expressed it: “I thought about you all night. Why, at this point in your life, have you moved away from Bill and even Grant? My Elizabeth is pregnant, and I wouldn't think about being anywhere else. Pregnancy is quite common. What Grant has been through isn't! You are such a brave and independent woman, but....” She was asking how I could move 893 miles away from my son, recently treated for melanoma.
Continued…
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119:105) This has been a journey into the unknown, one of faith, trust and surrender. Most people deny, rather than embrace, the unknown. It’s challenging, and can be terrifying, to acknowledge we live at the edge of the unknown every moment of our lives. Embracing the unknown and taking action is different from just acknowledging the unknown. It takes not only faith and trust, but also the courage to surrender to the guidance received, to act on it. The Aladdin-like oil lamps of history cast a small amount of light, only enough to reveal the next step, on the path. I have faith I will be shown the way, a step at a time. My life is about “Where the rubber hits the road,” or applying spiritual principles in the physical world.
I also believe the best way to teach my son is by example, to be a role model of how to live life – courageously listening to one’s own inner guidance, trusting one’s own knowing, instincts, intuition. While attending college and working for the Ritz-Carlton, Grant was presented with an opportunity to relocate to Florida. I saw clearly he might move far away to live his life…and that I needed to live mine.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ writing about wild geese, quoted in Edwene Gaines’ book, The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance, was pointed out to me by a friend leafing through it on my bookshelf as I prepared to move from Santa Barbara. I hadn’t read it yet!
How do geese know
when to fly to the sun?
Who tells them the seasons?
How do we humans know
when it is time
to move on?
As with the migrant birds,
so surely with us,
there is a voice within,
if only we would listen to it,
that tells us certainly
when to go forth
into the unknown.
My moving to New Mexico is a demonstration to Grant that I know he is healed. Grant was on many prayer lists, involved in several miracles, including the fact that he’s in the 15% of the population who respond to Interleukin-2 treatment for melanoma. He no longer needs me. He can go on with is life. What I am doing, he can do. Our lives parallel one another, are mirrors for each other. My leaving is evidence of the gift he has been given, the gift of life, and my encouragement that he accept the gift. Here is what he recently wrote on my birthday card: “Happy Birthday, Mom. Thanks so much for being there for me in one way or another over all the years, but particularly the last 3. I’m blessed to have a person like you in my life, and despite a physical separation, you are with me every day! Love, Grant.” When Grant and I want to be together, we are a two-hour and $223 airplane ride away. Once I have my own home, we’ll share face time on Skype.
I hope this gives you some understanding about how and why I was able to move to New Mexico. I can certainly understand and appreciate why the question kept you awake at night. It kept me awake at night too! For a long time. It was a decision that evolved over many years, a process. It was not simple or easy. And I’m still not sure about the “calling” or spiritual “pull” that brought me to New Mexico. What is that about? I don’t know. But I do have some “clues!” All I can do is continue my spiritual practices and respond to the guidance given. I’ll write about guidance in future blog postings. Responding to this question has been a rich experience for me. Thank you for asking. “More to be revealed,” as I always say, or, as a dear friend puts it, “Film at 11.”
If you have a question, please send it to terranda@hotmail.com
