Blurbs from the Burque

• Last week, the Alibi, (for what, I don’t know yet), the Burque’s free, weekly, local Arts & Entertainment newspaper, featured “Survival Guide 2011: ABQ Danger Map” for living here.

"Albuquerque is a tough little piñon. Mastering Albuquerque takes street
smarts. If you want to thrive, first you have to survive."

A two-page map was ever-so-helpfully coded to show the neighborhoods with the highest number of registered sex offenders, most arsenic in the drinking water, greatest concentration of dangerous dogs, most homicides, property crimes, violent crimes, worst intersections, bicycle deaths, red light cameras. Superfund sites are marked in red. There is an icon for “Corporate Coffee”(see next entry).

• Corporate Coffee: “Beware the coffee! This is the very McDonald’s where, in 1992, Stella Liebeck ordered a 49-cent cup of joe and then spilled it on her lap, resulting in burns, a successful $2.8 million lawsuit and a flood of hacky jokes from every two-bit comic in the country. Although most people have heard of the case, many don’t realize that the coffee was so hot (180 -190 degrees) that Liebeck suffered third-degree burns requiring a skin graft, or that McDonald’s had refused to grant Liebeck’s initial request for just enough money to cover her medical expenses. Regardless of your take on the lawsuit, we recommend that if you buy coffee anywhere, you avoid holding the cup between your legs while driving.”