Downsizing! Homeless Realtor Lives Out of Car

"Do you love it?"* Then keep it. Otherwise practice belonging triage: Keep it, donate or sell it, trash it. Do I really want to drag the 28-year-old bedroom furniture I bought with my ex to my new home, my new life? Maybe not. Do I really want to be responsible for cleaning, dusting, wrapping, packing, storing, moving that item – investing my life energy in it?

“Time is the best editor” is one of my sister-in-law’s favorite quotations. It contains an insight that becomes increasingly poignant as you age and when your child has a life-threatening illness. She and I have a shared understanding of the quotation at the cellular level. Poet Mary Oliver puts it this way: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” How do I wish to spend my time? With whom? Doing what? On what belongings?

For me, moving stripped away the nonessential. Moving revealed my priorities. When everything is gone, what remains? What matters? Who am I without my stuff? Who am I without a home? Does that change? A homeless Realtor, how ironic. Where is my true home? Wherever I am? Am I at home with myself?

Moving from a four-bedroom beach home to a one-bedroom guest cottage to a bedroom in a friend’s condo then to a car during relocation distills life to the essential. I found myself protecting what little terrain remained – a bedroom in a friend’s home. My one request while there was for “inviolable space,” that my room be entered only by request with permission, that my boundaries be respected, because “It’s the only space I have to call my own right now.” I acknowledged it might be unusual to request that a room in someone’s home be off-limits to them, but that was exactly what I was asking. Learning that it meant not coming in just to "plug in the fan” (for my comfort), “adjust the drapes” or “remove objects I wasn’t using anyway” required discussion and clarification. The intrusions felt like such a violation to me at first. It took a day for me to let go, know it’s not who I am, realize I didn’t “need” inviolable space.

What belongings deserve my time - my "one wild and precious life"? Living in a wildfire evacuation warning zone in Santa Barbara’s downtown urban area, after 20,000 people had already been evacuated during the fourth wildfire in as many years, I could have as few as ten minutes to pack up and be gone. What would go with me? Surprisingly little. Having to prepare for that real possibility was very freeing.

It’s challenging to pack when you don’t know how long everything will be in storage. Summer clothes? Fall? Winter? Boots or sandals? What files will you need? Tax returns? Healthcare information? The pink slip to your car? New Mexico requires your original social security card to issue you a driver’s license. “Take your passport with you,” my sister-in-law said. It proved to be a great idea. What’s really precious to me? What’s irreplaceable? The things I love the most, those I don’t want lost or broken, are with me.

The stripping-away process can be welcome and daunting, necessary and challenging, freeing and frightening. The stripping away is like demolishing an old structure, bulldozing it down, hauling it away, scraping the lot, starting over. If I’m not that, who am I? There’s something refreshing, new, exciting about a bare lot of fresh dirt. With every item, with every belief, with every perceived need released, let go, I realized I needed less and less. I had a greater and greater understanding of who I am, a deeper and deeper sense of fulfillment and peace. My trust that whatever I needed would be there for me when I needed it increased. My mantra became “My needs are met. My needs are always met,” and it became so for me.

Now, after four months of renting in Albuquerque, I am almost ready to buy a home. When I returned from a three-week visit to California last week (friends and family...yummm!) my New Mexico real estate license was waiting for me. I joined the local, state and national real estate associations as well as the Multiple Listing Service. Have lockbox key, will travel. In another twenty-four hours, I will have access to online real estate forms. I'll be ready for business - starting with my own! For several months on Sunday afternoons I've looked at Open Houses. Yesterday, this is what I found in the premier "North Valley" neighborhood, my favorite, adjacent to the Rio Grande: A foreclosure property, single-storey, pueblo-style, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1990 square feet, built in 2007 with high wood beam ceilings, a kiva fireplace, backing to open space in a gated community. There is an unobstructed view of the Sandia Mountains from the front yard. The price? Oh! Wait for it, you Californians - especially you Santa Barbarians!!! $287,000. Yes. Add a mil for Santa Barbara. So the adventure continues....I'm still shopping and will keep you posted!

* "Do you love it?" Brilliant sorting question from Don Aslett, author of Clutter's Last Stand: It's Time To De-junk Your Life! and Lose 200 Lbs. This Weekend: It's Time to Declutter Your Life.